Well, here we are… I’m finally sharing an endeavour that’s been a part of my personal “goals” (I’ll explain later why thats in quotations…) for about 15 years: I’m becoming a ballerina.
It must have been 15 years ago that I took my first actual classical ballet class, aside from classes when I was a toddler. I was a gymnast through my teenage years, and in my 20’s I found yoga, weight-lifting and running. In college I was a cheerleader, although I was a base (a position usually reserved for male cheerleaders), as we had an all-girls team and I was one of the tallest girls at 5’8″.
A few years before my first adult ballet class, I would regularly spend time in Manhattan, New York, where a friend of mine was attending The Julliard School as an Opera singer. When I stayed with her, I got to go to some of her classes as a visitor, and I slept on a blow-up mattress on the floor of her tiny dorm room that she shared with a real ballerina!
I remember the hours that her ballerina roommate would keep: up at the crack of dawn for her morning rehearsal or practice (trying to not step on me as I slept on the only available floorspace; fortunately her ballerina coordination surpassed my intrusion of her space!). She would dance all day and into the evening. We would sometimes see her asleep at an odd hour of the day, catching whatever rest she could in between classes or meals. She would go to the gym or a hot yoga class if she wasn’t rehearsing in the evening. I remember being in awe of her dedication, and while I rarely had the opportunity to speak to her, she always seemed a little bit ‘worried’ to me. Perhaps it was exhaustion, or perhaps the combination of exhaustion and the desire to be perfect in such a competitive sport. Regardless of how I perceived her, she and the other ballerina students at The Julliard School truly inspired me.
My friend was in voice lessons for only part of the day (which I did not attend with her). She was also in language lessons (Italian and French), and a movement class that the instructor was happy to have me attend. To participate in the movement class though, I needed to have the proper footwear, so my friend took me to the Capezio Dancewear store in Manhattan. I think thats when my heart truly attached to one day being a ballerina. I purchased a pair of black leather lace-up jazz/movement slippers, a leotard that I never wore until this fall, (20 years later) and a shrug that was so sheer and delicate and perfect that I couldn’t resist buying it.
I had no idea what a sport ballet was until I saw all of the ‘equipment’ that these athletes have to ensure that their body is protected before, during and after their practices. Everything from shrugs and leg warmers to hundreds of different types of slippers and shoes, tensor bandages and support for sore or injured knees, elbows, ankles, toes, fingers and backs. Leotards vary by colour and each colour is mandated by the class of ballerina you are (your age and/or skill level). Ballet was revealed to me as a true and beautiful athletic sport. (Note: Revisiting the world of ballerina attire/equipment in the last few months has cost me hundreds of dollars and filled only a small duffel bag)
I took my first adult ballet class many years ago in a pretty little studio here in Calgary, and I loved the instructor. He was a Polish male ballerina who was sent away to ballet school at the unbelievable age of 11. He was strict but forgiving and his life experiences as a dancer and teacher were inspiring. Unfortunately, being in my early 20’s meant that I lived with roommates, had five horses and my little kitty, and was in university paying for a degree on my own while working full-time as a bartender. Ballet was expensive and it couldn’t work itself into my wild schedule, nor my virtually non-existent budget.
Fast-forward to 2018, where I did ballet barre/yoga combination classes for a year as my main fitness activity while preparing for my wedding day, and then to this fall (2019) where I began ‘preparing’ to begin adult classical ballet classes in January. In my preparations, I watched and participated in classical ballet YouTube classes, read up on ballet terminology and researched the studio(s) that I wanted to take classes from.
*A note of reality: you can’t learn classical ballet from YouTube. I would venture to say that even practicing at home as a beginner is close to impossible. You lean on your instructor so much for their knowledge and guidance: they see things that your body is doing that you don’t even know how to look for. That being said, I recommend trying out a few studios to make sure that you love your instructor before committing to one.
So, I’d been working on my general ballet fitness as best as I could for about four months, as well as combining spin, yoga, pilates and weights into my fitness routine before my first classical ballet class in many years. I’d also purchased a “comfortable” (are any ballet shoes actually comfortable?) pair of canvas split sole ballet slippers, a couple of Capezio leotards, some convertible tights (where there is a hole in the bottom so you can have them cover your toes and heels or roll them up your leg), some 100% cotton kind of sweat pants to go over my tights, a set of leg warmers, and a ballet skirt.
Fortunately I learned prior to spending hundreds of dollars that each studio has its own very specific regulations on attire that must be followed, often right down to the brand name that you’re allowed to wear in their studio. Adult classes tend to be a little more relaxed about these regulations, but I’ve found that ballet is a sport full of respect, and I feel that having the proper attire is respectful to your classmates, your instructor, and your studio.
*Another note on reality: I have tattoos. Ballerinas don’t have tattoos, and if they do, nobody sees them. This means that I wear a high-necked, long-sleeved leotard when I dance. In my private lessons, I got permission to wear a more traditional spaghetti strap leotard, but I could tell that my instructor was hesitant to have my tattoos showing in his studio at all. In addition to this note on reality: its not that easy to find adult classical ballet attire in my city or online. If you’re an adult ballerina, chances are its a hobby now and it used to be your profession, or its still your profession and you live and/or travel to a city often where the arts are more prominent than they are here, so having the right attire is easier (or you already have it all).
Choosing A Studio (Or Two)
I decided to register with two different ballet studios. I did this for two reasons: 1. One studio is VERY professional: the classes are fast and the people are intimidating to me. This is good for me to help my confidence and growth, but also not so good: as a complete beginner I have a lot of questions and need a lot of corrections. 2. Most studios only offer one adult class per week. To meet my personal ballet goals, I wanted to make sure that I was practicing under instruction more than once a week.
In the ‘professional’ class, I find that I do not want to interrupt the fairly large class with my personal corrections. I love that the instructor is young and has been dancing her whole life. I love that most of the class is my age or younger, however most of them have a seemingly extensive history of practicing ballet, which I do not. I also love that the class is 90 minutes. Its a workout – boy do I ever feel it the next day – and it covers a lot of different movements. I am exposed firsthand to how beautiful ballet is when done correctly as many of the girls are such incredible dancers.
The second studio is closer to my home, has a much older participant age (which makes me feel very comfortable!), and has far less students. It is a 60 minute class. I would consider it almost as semi-private. The other students seem grateful when I ask questions, as they are perhaps far more polite or shy than I am. It seems that when I have a question, there is at least one other woman with the same question. I have found that my 90 minute class fast-tracts me, where my 60 minute class allows me to focus a little more, work on my movements and ask for corrections as needed. The general level of the second studio class is the same as me: beginner.
One thing I should note about ballet: its expensive (I’ve already spoken of the initial attire cost). The group classes can be purchased at a discount should you choose to pay for a month, three months, six months or a year in advance, but in all cases its more expensive than a drop-in fitness class. Private lessons are expensive. You’ll likely be looking at spending $75 an hour for a private lesson with a seasoned and skilled ballet teacher. Aside from the actual time you’ll spend in a studio, you’re certainly going to need to take more baths, stretch more and work out more. This is a time-consuming endeavour. Likely, your local ballet studio isn’t beside your house, so anticipate spending 30 minutes (at least) driving to and from class, then add in costly fuel for your vehicle. I’m not saying that becoming a ballerina isn’t worth it – it certainly is, but your Netflix chill time will become a thing of the past, that is a certainty.
The Ballerina Body
You’d be correct if you picture a ballerina as an athletic person. This doesn’t put that person into any particular shape or size, rather acknowledges their athletic physical and mental abilities. Ballerinas are so incredibly strong – they have defined muscles that I haven’t seen in any other athletes. That being said, I’m about to endeavour into a one-week ballet intensive with two classes daily for seven days, and my instructor advised that ballerinas don’t just practice at a class a couple of days a week: On their own time they take pilates and yoga classes, and go to the gym. I was expected to prepare for my intensive week by building and maintaining muscle, flexibility, and my overall health.
A Personal Experience: I’ve found that wearing a leotard in your 30’s isn’t ideal. Its a bit like wearing a new bathing suit to a busy beach: there are those people who might feel proud and comfortable in their new gear, and those (like me), who feel a little vulnerable and naked until they’re used to something new. I’m comfortable in my body at 5’8″ with only a few pounds up and down for me to argue over. However, when you put on tights that don’t behold the power of Spanx, and a skintight leotard (at a night class, after a full day of meals)… Let’s just say it’s inspired a few new healthy food and fitness habits!
Thus far in the beginning of my journey, I have learned a different kind of confidence than I anticipated. I feel more confident in my age. Until spending hours practicing with girls in their teens and young women in their 20’s, I didn’t feel all that old. Now, I recognize that these girls see me as “old”! Its wild but I kind of own it now. Age is a cool thing.
Goals
I wrote earlier about ballet being a “goal” of mine. The thing is, with a sport like this I don’t believe that being a ballerina is a “goal”, I see it more as a lifestyle and mind-frame that can be practiced and built upon for a lifetime. While I certainly have and will continue to have personal goals regarding my skill level as a ballerina, it is a sport which requires honesty, dedication and self-awareness – things I admire so much of not only ballerinas but all athletes.
I’ve included this section for myself, but I’d love to hear from you with anything you’ve experienced in your ballerina path, or any other journey for that matter!
One goal I have is to be working on dancing on pointe in two years. Dancing in pointe shoes on my tippy toes would mean that I have gained the strength and physical as well as mental self-awareness to be able to move my body whilst balancing on my toes. One of my instructors advised that depending on the anatomy of my feet, and my dedication to my practice, I may even be able to be on pointe in one year, but I am keeping my goal realistic with two years.
My only other goal is to document my journey to share with you! I don’t think theres an age that you’re too old to start anything, but I’m honestly glad that I’m starting this journey now rather than later – ballet is HARD. Learning a new skill is HARD. Being the most beginner person in the class is HARD. But next year, at this time, I won’t be the beginner anymore. And next week, at this time, I will have had a whole week-long intensive under my belt: A luxury that I’ve allowed myself and my bank account to take part in!